I work out for many reasons. YOU give meaning to EVERY experience. You can view working out as this think you HAVE to do or you can see it as this thing you GET to do. I choose to see it as this thing that I get to do to make me feel a way I want to feel. And to get to that feeling… I ask one question before each workout.

Jasmine, how do you want to feel?

Empowered. Strong. Joyful. Badass. Cathartic. Sexy. Fun. Goofy.

Once I have the answer, I play the corresponding playlist.

‘Cause let’s be real. It’s easy to remember that feeling as you get started. However. When you’re 45s into that plank hold or half-way through the sumo squats, the only feeling most of us feel is a giant fuck. this. But not you. Not any more. Cause you’re going to tap into the power of this rad thing called music that amplifies the workout experience to emotional heights while keeping you grounded in the way you want to feel.

If you know my story in the last year, then you can imagine that i’ve been through phases of how this played out in my life. As the Universe would have it, it’s been right in line with the seasons.

 

spring || catharsis

In the spring I found myself newly single, yet still living with the -ex. I made the decision to quit my job, yet still had to finish out the school year. It was like I was shedding all the weight, figuratively and literally. I’d find myself crying during workouts, because it was a physical way to recognize that I had pushed through the frustration and could now give in to the relief. I was letting go. it was so cathartic.

 

 

summer || unfuckwithable

i got through this catharsis, and then i wanted to feel totally strong. rawr. i am woman hear me roar. see how the scales tipped. i had let all of the frustration go, and wanted to power through. i gave zero fucks about how anyone else saw me – women, men, boys, or otherwise. i was just in it to feel strong AF. also known as unfuckwithable.

 

 

fall || sexy

this thing happened in the fall. i felt that strength, and then turned it into these sexy adventure goddess vibes. i went to california and got in touch with my true self again. it felt as if that empty shell of a girl from two years ago was really really gone. like i knew myself better than ever. i had shed the stress and all of a sudden, i was determined to feel sexy AF. even though i wasn’t in my perfect body — i felt like i could feel sexy anyway. THAT was new.

one day i’m going to write about sexual awakening. and owning it. today is not that day.

so now we’re in winter — as of a few days ago. jasmine, how do you want to feel? a l i v e.

mad love,

J

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It’s no secret that I like to do things alone. Not because I’m a loner. Not because I don’t enjoy company. Not because I’m a hopeless single lady. Not because I’m socially awkward. I can carry on quite the conversation : thank you very much! It’s simply because in those moments of conversation I am giving my energy. In order to have that energy to give away, I have to fuel up on my own time. I need quiet moments of solitude to fill my cup.

In other words, I’m an introvert.

let’s talk labels.

You could say that we book-loving, coffee-drinking, people-watching, listeners have a leg up in learning to truly enjoy our own company. But, no matter where you stand on that trovert spectrum, I think it’s a thing we all need to learn. (The exasperated sigh from the extroverts was audible and dramatic just now. They’re already talking to the person next door about it with big expression and charismatic intonation.)

We each have our strengths. What worries me is the girlfriends who share that they won’t go alone to a yoga class or coffee date or rock concert. It’s true that America normalizes the extrovert, and that we introverts are socially conditioned to participate in an extrovert’s world. The opposite is also true in other cultures like Japan. Either way, it doesn’t matter when you consider the fact that the longest, most sacred relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. So it’s time to get to know that body, mind, and soul of yours. Nurture your relationship with yourself. Discover what a juicy peach you are!

the longest relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself

The root of the root… The bud of the bud… is that you have to fall in love with yourself first.  And falling in love starts with a date. And you, YOU, are a smokin’ hot date to have.

So, lovely, take yourself out.

Here are some ideas for your babealicious self.

  1. Take yourself to the movies.
    • I took myself to see 50 Shades of Grey a few years back. Talk about the last movie in which you’d ever want to be caught alone. I think that’s WHY I did it though. It was a way of proving to myself the freedom that comes with watching what you want, on your own schedule, and with all the M+Ms to yourself.
  2. Take yourself on a dinner date. 
    • I’ll warn you that you’re probably going to end up telling the waitress a couple times, “Yep, just one.” You can sit at the bar if you want to ease your way into it and mingle with the locals. But, there’s so much joy in the people-watching factor of sitting at a table and sending good juju to friends on (obvious) first dates or (obvious) we-actually-cleaned-up-tonight dates. If you’d rather read or scroll or play solo solitaire, go right ahead. I just recommend that you take a deep breath, slow down, and enjoy this peaceful time with yourself.
  3. Take yourself to an event.
    • If you had to choose one extra-curricular that sets your soul on fire, what would it be?
    • Here are some ideas: paddleboarding, watching musicals, shopping, attending veggie festivals, blogging, perusing museums, dancing at EDM shows, acroyoga-ing, skydiving, carpentering, hiking, calligraphy…
    • Find an event about that thing, and go. They’re your people. Your tribe. What better way to dip your toe into the water of solo adventure than with new people that you know are your people? I promise. They’re so much cooler than their Instagram feed — they’re way cooler IRL.
  4. Take yourself on a solo retreat.
    • Pick a place and go. I don’t mean for weeks unless that’s your gig. (Which, if it is, please send me an e-mail.) Go for an overnight. Go for a weekend. The point of a retreat is to do just that — retreat. You don’t have to leave the country, the state, or even the county. Grab a journal, a pen and a book. Leave your personal rulebook, agenda, and notifications at home. And go be you. And if you don’t know what that means, then you’ll find it bit-by-bit along the way. At least that’s what I’m doing.

Self love is so important.

Because if you don’t do you, then you don’t get done. And then the world misses out.

It misses out on… Your joy. Your spark. Your genius. Your talent. Your love.. Don’t do that to us, sweet thang!

Now tell me below… Which one is striking a chord with you? Will I see any other solo acts in 50 Shades Darker next year? Bump into you at Ipanema Grill? Wonder who the other lone female is in the VMFA’s most recent exhibit? Like/Love/Comment on that glorious, freeing solo retreat photo that just sears with liberation?

Simplicity is bold + brave. And so are you, babycakes.

Mad love,

J

 

PS. I totally made up trovert spectrum. That’s not a real thing. 🙂

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It would be SO cool if I had a picture of all the books I’ve read in 2016 stacked on top of one another. Alas, I’m a Kindle owner. All I have to share with you are some boring photos of trips that Clover (that’s my Kindle) went on with me. She goes everywhere. Damn that environmentally consciousness!

But, for real, 2016 was a time of massive growth, and I attribute so much of that to these authors. They’ve served as my guides, my gurus, and goddesses throughout this year. They’ve seen me through all sorts of failures and triumphs. I hear their words ping around in my mind all day long. They interrupt negative self-talk. They call me out on the bullshit stories I tell myself. They are relentless in a pursuit to help me recognize my worth. So, to say that I’m grateful doesn’t quite feel strong enough.

If you ask Barnes + Noble, they’d consider these authors to be among the Self-Help section. If you ask Amazon, they’re part of the Self-Development crowd. I used to pass over these categories and, meanwhile, pass judgement on those who DID happen to peruse their aisles. I assumed that Self-Help / Self-Dev readers were  [a] hippie-dippie [b] depressed or [c] addicted.

As it turns out, I was right and wrong. I actually fell in love with that hippie-dippie shit. I was depressed, and this could have pulled me out of those bullshit stories I was telling myself earlier. I am addicted to growth, and this is my daily fix. I started out with 10minutes of reading a day, but that desire to be better grew and grew. Now I read for an hour a day and listen to audio whenever I’m doing mindless activity. I turn it into mindFULL activity.

The root of the root here is that it isn’t the fluff I had assumed it to be. In fact a lot of time it hurts. It’s uncomfortable. It gives you a medium to look in the mirror and see that reflection of the inside – the soul. I’ve learned to crave that uncomfort. It means that I’m growing. Because to stay the same is a lot more painful. I choose the hard work of growth, because that brings joy. That’s my only mother f*cking option… choosing the hard of staying the same and settling for mediocrity… that’s not.

 

leadership

Start With Why by Simon Sinek

Great leaders are those who trust their gut. They are those who understand the art before the science. They win hearts before minds. They are the ones who start with WHY.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

We all have an innate, unquenchable desire to know we are valued, to know we matter. Yet affirming this in each other is among the most challenging things to do in our day and age. 

Tribes by Seth Godin

“Life’s too short” is repeated often enough to be a cliche, but this time it’s true. You don’t have enough time to be both unhappy and mediocre. It’s not just pointless, it’s painful. Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you ought to set up a life you don’t need to escape from.

Unbeatable Mind by Mark Divine

It is important to note that goals can be either ‘being’ goals or ‘doing’ goals. In other words, goals help us ‘do’ things or ‘be’ someone.

 

 

who run the world? #girls

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

This book is THE introduction to personal development. I recommend it to everyone. Always. It’s one of the two books that I’ve ever read cover to cover, turned over, and read again. [The other was Harry Potter.] Go get it right now.

There’s nothing as unstoppable as a freight train full of fuck-yeah.

Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr

So you want to know why I went vegan? ^^^ This would be it. Kris took a cancer diagnosis and gave it the middle finger with real foods, veganism, juicing, and a wrecking ball of positivity. If you want to learn about what our bodies truly need with some witty banter and zero bullshit, she’s your girl.

If your meals consistently revolve around corpse multiple times daily, you might become one sooner than you planned.

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

Twinkle lights are the perfect metaphor for joy. Joy is not a constant. It comes to us in moments – often ordinary moments. Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we’re too busy chasing down the extraordinary moments. Other times we’re so afraid of the dark that we don’t dare let ourselves enjoy the light.

A joyful life is not a floodlight of joy. That would eventually become unbearable.

I believe a joyful life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together by trust, gratitude, inspiration, and faith.

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

Women, who feel shame when they don’t feel heard or validated, often resort to pushing and provoking with criticism (‘Why don’t you ever do enough?’ or ‘You never get it right.’) Men, in turn, who feel shame when they feel criticized for being inadequate, either shut down (leading women to poke and provoke more) or come back to anger.

#GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso

The energy you’ll expend focusing on someone else’s life is better spent working on your own. Just be your own idol. 

 

 

connecting to your intuition

Think + Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

This guy is everyone’s guy. Every other author on this list learned from him. He’s the original. And his work is dense. In order to get through it I had to listen to the audio while reading. I had to take consistent notes. I had to remember that he was the original. This one isn’t easy. But it’s worth it.

Every adversity, every failure, every heartbreak, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein

Gabby is my goddess of a guru. I listen to this while walking Juniper daily. I just keep playing it over and over again. Her energy and presence are so calming. She does many guided meditations that I do as walking meditations. It sets me up for a mindful way into my day. It brings me back to love.

In every situation you have two choices: Will you learn through fear or will you learn through love?

biz dev

#AskGaryVee by Gary Vaynerchuk

A badass. A hardass. And sometimes Gary Vee’s just an ass. But I love him. His real, raw take on business and social media have helped me realize the mission behind what I do. #cloudsanddirt If you’re in business, then this is a must-read.

Vagueness sucks. Lack of drive sucks. Half-assing things sucks. And so does the middle.

The 10X Rule by Grant Cardone

All the excuses in the world won’t change one simple fact: that fear is a sign to do whatever it is you fear—and do it quickly.

 

routine

Eat that Frog! by Brian Tracy

This is my go-to book for productivity training. I meet so many people who suffer from procrastination. Every morning actually. In the mirror. This is a book of short, quick chapters with simple action steps at the end to guide your journey to the slaying of that to-do list.

First, optimists look for the good in every situation. No matter what goes wrong, they always look for something good or beneficial. And not surprisingly, they always seem to find it. 

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

Everything you do, every decision you make, is either building your dream or building someone else’s dream. Every single thing you do is either leading you away from the masses — or leading you away WITH the masses. Every single thing you do is a slight edge decision.

The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod

Your life is who you are at the deepest level. Your life is made up of the internal components, attitudes, and mindsets that can give yo uthe power to alter, enhance, or change you rlife situation at any given moment. 

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

Life becomes far easier once you know that things will still work out even if you are lacking something.

 

fun

Harry Potter & the Cursed Child

Thank you for being my light in the darkness.

audio programs

The Ultimate Edge by Tony Robbins

Living Your Best Year Ever by Darren Hardy

 

so there you have it! i may have missed a couple library || borrowed books. what did you read this year that set your soul on fire?!

mad love,

j

ps. to check out my 2017 booket list, go here!

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narrow+deep

i read books. i read a lot of them. every morning over superfoods. i take notes. i use the highlight function on my kindle. i listen to them on audio too. i jot while listening… and the kind of books i read have these little things called action steps. usually i do the action steps. if it don’t, it because i get so hungry for knowledge that i just want to read the dang thing.

but not this year.

this year, i’ll be slowing down. not just to take notes, but to actually take time to do the action steps. my mantra for this year would have it no other way : narrow+deep.

so here i go. i’m diving in. and let’s see what kind of jasmine emerges on the other side. i’ll be updating throughout the year. you’ll have dates and times and reflections and quotes. and if you’ve read/are reading one of these, drop a comment. #booketlistbuddies

leadership

The  Millionaire Messenger by Brendon Burchard

The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann

“Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.” The story of the go-giver is, by far, the most intuitive book I’ve read on ‘sales.’ That word had a really icky connotation for me; this book freed me of that, as my soul resonated with these authors (or should I say mentors).

The Entrepreneur Rollercoaster by Darren Hardy

The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon

The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes

 

who run the world? #girls

You are  a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero

“(On the hang ups that people have about money) I’m going to give you the top 3. Money is the root of all evil. People really think it’s an evil, dirty, bad thing. They think they’ll have to do something they hate to make money. They’ll have to work themselves to the bone doing stuff they hate. The biggest one is that they don’t think they’re allowed to make money. They haven’t given themselves permission to make money. You can tell people how to invest and how to work with money, but if they haven’t gotten over the part of yourself that isn’t allowing yourself to go for it, it’s such a loaded topic…to go out and say “I’m gonna make a ton of money,” people will look at you funny. It’s not okay in our society.”

Jen wrote one of the foundational personal growth books we use in our fitness community, You Are a Badass, and this follow up is going to be pivotal in mastering a mindset of wealth. If you want to get over pure BS like that quote above, then go grab this book. I listened on Audible all the way through first. Now I’ll listen again, completing the questions and action steps at the end of each chapter. It’s kind of like that whole-part-whole method we’re all taught in music school.

Get Over Your Damn Self by Romi Neustadt

GIRL CODE by Cara Alwill Leyra

“You will evolve. Not everyone will get it. Evolve anyway.” + “They don’t serve champagne at pity parties.” This is the guidebook for female entrepreneurs in an industry driven by females. Cara is my guru for all things woman. She’s the best friend you want in your corner, or in this case your mind. When shit gets real, something she’s said will pop up bringing clarity when there was none.

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

I Am That Girl by Alexis Jones

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love” I still haven’t finished this book, which is kind of ridiculous because it’s incredibly short. I will say that the four agreements all step from this first one. It’s a lot about congruence : are your thoughts congruent with you words + are your words congruent with your actions?

connection to your intuition

May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

This, in a nutshell, is what “self-improvement” is really about: prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give a fuck about. Because when you give better fucks, you get better problems.

Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.

This book is hilarious, bold-faced truth. It’s based on the premise of deciding which fucks to give in your life, because at the end all we have is legacy. There are mindfucks on all sorts scattered throughout, that’s going to make you think about things that you’ve probably never thought. I recommend on Audible, because omg it’s laugh-out-loud funny when you hear it live!

The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

Adventures for your Soul by Shannon Kaiser

The Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle Laporte

biz dev

Thank you Econonmy by Gary Vaynerchuk

Tools of Titans by Timothy Ferris

Full Disclosure. I started to read this book, got through a bit of it, and then stopped. It’s basically an anthology of cool people and the cool shit they do, so I figured I can use it as a reference text. I’m of the mindset that we shouldn’t have to suffer through books we don’t want to read. If we need the information, then someone else has written about it in a voice we might prefer. I moved on.

routine

The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

START by Jon Acuff

audio

Mastering Influence by Tony Robbins

Creating Lasting Change by Tony Robbins

I LOVED this program. It’s a gateway into understanding Neurolinguistic Programming (fancy term for a process that helps people get over their own bullshit). As a coach I am SO effing interested in this I can hardly stand it. If you are a mentor in any kind of capacity, this will give you knowledge on psychology to actually help your people long-term. It’s one that I will do again and again because “repetition is the mother of skill.”

poetry

From left to right… milk + honey by Rupi Kaur, Stripped by Cara Alwill Leyba, whiskey words & a shovel I by r.h.Sin

mad love,

j

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rnsv9669

my type A is always battling with my type B. i’m a disciplined creative. a hardcore freespirit. a straightlaced rulebreaker. you get the picture. i’m a walking oxymoron.

this makes my love of planning challenging. 

it’s tough to find a planner that suits all the parts of myself. i know, it sounds a luda to talk of planning with such affection, but there is something so lovely about designing the day in a way that feeds the soul. i need spaces of certainty, like my project focus for the week. but i also need spaces of UNcertainty, like when i’ll do each task. my day-to-day now looks like that because of the coaching lifestyle, but was quite the opposite while teaching. so, as you can see. i’m needy when it comes to the perfect planner, and i’m willing to pay a little extra to get the perfection that i’ll be adoring for the next 12 months.

the passion planner

the big picture || for the past two years, i’ve been reverse engineering my way to a life of my dreams with the passion planner. you create a roadmap with long and short term goals. then you break them down to create to-do items. you’re going from big picture down to the daily moments that will get you there.

the pages || monthly layout, monthly project focus (personal + work), weekly layout, weekly project focus (personal + work), monthly reflection questions, days are in :30 increments

the lovely details ||inspiring quotes, space to write good things that happened

use me as your referral! i have 3 referrals, then i’ll receive one for free and do a really fun planner giveaway!

 

the start planner

the big picture || everything. i mean EVERY little detail down to your 8 glasses of water in a day in one place. the start planner is all about SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-based). it helps you create these goals, and get them done while still remaining aware of all the other things going on in your life.

the pages || monthly layout, daily layout (top 3 priorities, hour-by-hour schedule, workout, water, calories in and out, budget), project goal setting pages which reverse engineer a specific project, grocery lists for the month and week, health check documentation, gifts + cards lists, budget pages monthly reflection questions, days are in :30 increments

the lovely details || checking off each glass of water would be fun =)

the desire map planner

the big picture || this is more than a weekly organizer, because YOU are so much more than a to-do list. it focuses on how you want to feel to be sure that your activity aligns with that. there are various soul prompts to keep you grounded throughout the journey of a year

the pages || setting intentions at the beginning of the planner, monthly layout, end of month soul prompt reflection that changes each month, weekly layout (core desired feelings, top to-dos), weekly soul prompt reflection that changes each week

the lovely details ||the corner tabs that tear off with a core desired feeling, the cover #inlove

let me know if you’d like a $10 coupon for the desire map planner! i got you, boo!

the day designer

the big picture || this is a straight-up planner with less goal-setting focus

the pages || monthly layout, daily layout (to-dos, appointments, budget space, due date space, a birds eye view into next week)

the lovely details ||there is a space to write what’s for dinner, inspiring quotes

so which did i choose?

the desire map planner. it’s time for my type b, creative, entrepreneurial side to be fully embraced. the more freedom i have been giving myself has given me the chance to GIVE in a whole new way. the desire map gives me just the right amount of discipline alongside my other yearly goal-setting program with a WHOLE lot of inspiration. because, in truth, i think we should plan in order to be our best selves, and in turn, give more to others… that’s the WHY behind planning. i used to think the point of check lists was to check things off, but when the depth of meaning in those things ON the checklist goes next level, the planning does too.

what’s on your to-do list today?

mad love, j

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