Ladies, it’s time. It’s time to stop that late night Instagram scroll using pretty girl hashtags. You know the kind : the hashtags that make us feel like shit about ourselves. (Not to be confused with the stories that make us believe, “If she can do it, then I can do it too.”) We sit, wait, and wish about the day when we’ll have that body, that look, that life. I know, because I’ve been there as recently as last week. Then I remind myself that “Pretty Girls on Instagram” aren’t actually who I want to become; they’re just the ones the world tells me I should idolize.

Consider this with me. Who is the most beautiful, magnetic, strong, courageous, authentic person you know? Seriously. Take a moment. Think of a woman who is just dynamite. Do you have her image in your beautiful mind? Good. I’m willing to bet my pitbull’s first born that you’re not visualizing a supermodel, actress, or Instagram handle with 100k followers (or at least not one who’s simply famous for being famous).

Here’s the thing. That dynamite girl – we actually DO love her for her beauty, it’s the beauty that shines from within; it’s the beauty that makes us feel something good about ourselves. She helps us see our greatness and makes us want to be better. She captivates us with simplicities that we connective to and she attracts us with complexities that illuminate some truth within ourselves. So… why the flying fuck are we (me) searching #fitspo in those last night hours?! Where focus goes, energy flows. So let’s get that focus focused on the true value deserves our attention, our thoughts, our time. Let’s focus on the dynamite girls. Boom.

You are the Wonder Woman of Your Own Life.

Consider with me a second time? What if instead of scrolling the Discover page, you spent a late night moment to visualize women around the globe “Discovering” you, the dynamite girl. Maybe it’s you a week / a month / a year from now. You are the beautiful, magnetic, strong, courageous, authentic person of your own dreams. You radiate beauty from within. You inspire others to feel something good. You help others see their greatness. You illuminate truth.

Can I tell you something? You are already her. She is already you. Everything you need is within you now.

Day by day you inch further.

Day by day you raise your standards.

Those “Pretty Girls on Instagram” are a physical destination. And you, lovely, are so much more than a physical destination. You trust and believe in the internal journey. That journey – and being on it – has created the beautiful, magnetic strong, courageous, authentic woman that you are. The world needs us to show up for ourselves, which means that we have to know that we are dynamite, and light it up. Boom.

Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle. – Cara Alwill Leyba

Mad love,

J

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Women. Aren’t we so fucking powerful? We come together in sisterhood, and move mountains. It’s time for us to unite in love, and we’re rising to the occasion. Did you see the Women’s March? I watched from my Nan’s couch in Manchester as my soulsisters stood together around the globe. We high-fived to sisterhood as our respective generations of wonder women made our hearts explode with pride.

Girl power, though, isn’t always used for positivity. Am I the only one who’s been in a female-dominated space that wreaked of toxicity and drama? My earliest experiences as a child in school with girls were just like that. My earliest experiences as a woman in the workplace with other females were just like that. So, sister, trust me when I say I’ve BEEN there. May I sprinkle your soul with some love confetti? Don’t lose heart. Don’t lose heart. Don’t lose heart. If you haven’t found your tribe of soul sisters, I promise, they’re out there waiting to meet you. Get ready to feel immeasurable gratitude, darling.

“The world will be saved by the Western woman.” Dalai Lama

With sisterhood comes responsibility. Straight up. Male privilege is real. We’re a socialized society. Ready for my sick + twisted truth? I’m glad that we are, because that is the perspective and insight that gives us the edge. It’s in that struggle we find our strength. It’s in that mess we find our message. It’s in that fight we find our tribe. It’s in that truth that we form the most powerful sisterhood imaginable. We are here as women because our souls are meant to do things on this earth that could never be accomplished as a man. Cheers to that, girlfriend.

“You will evolve. Not everyone will get it. Evolve anyway.” Cara Alwill Leyba

With sisterhood comes letting go. We’ve all been through a breakup right? Well, sister, there is this thing called a friendship breakup that no one really talks about. Romantic relationships end because growth happens, but it doesn’t happen together. Friendships are no different. Why not love your girl enough to let her know that you’re here for her, but you just don’t connect anymore? When you’re intentional about your peer group, she’ll want to be intentional about it too.

Sounds so difficult, right? Here’s the thing, lovely. I’ve seen the alternative and it’s crueler. While working in Detroit I was told that as our girlgang of teachers grew apart from a member for a certain reason, the girlgang was going to “phase her out.” They slowly invited her to fewer and fewer get-togethers. It seemed totally unnecessary and high-school like to me… and I was phased out not long thereafter. I knew what was happening, and could totally accept that these ladies were just not my tribe. But I think of my other gal pals who were phased out and have to wonder what they thought was happening. Is that any better than a guy slowly ghosting a girl in a relationship? I don’t think so. Let’s show each other some respect and be upfront. It’s OK when you evolve. But that evolution is going to fall hella short if you take the easy road out of a friendship that’s not serving you.

“Joy is the most magnetic force in the Universe.” Danielle LaPorte

With sisterhood comes abundance. Here’s the root of the root, ladies. There is enough to go around. There is enough joy. Enough love. Enough chocolate. Enough A+ grades. Enough men. Enough SheEO positions. There is enough. When we choose to live in abundance rather than lack, when we choose to celebrate each other as a win for the collective, there is sheer joy that radiates out from sisterhood. And that joy. It’s magnetic. It’s going to pull more joy right on in.

“Beauty and femininity are ageless and can’t be contrived, and glamour, though the manufacturers won’t like this, cannot be manufactured. Real glamour; it’s based on femininity.” Marilyn Monroe

With sisterhood comes femininity. I’m still exploring what that means to me : to be feminine. I think it’s a rather personal definition, as it should be. The intermingling of masculine and feminine energy is intensely curious to me. For a long time I was operating with a ton of masculine energy; I just oozed focus, control, logic. In California I dipped more into my feminine, and ladies, it felt so good to just let go; I was in flow, receptive, luxuriously creative. I recently met a very alpha male type (and I by masculine I do not mean macho) who helped me step into my feminine, or I guess I should say who allowed me to feel comfortable in my feminine energy. More to come on this I’m sure, but for now, just know that that sisterhood bond feels divinely feminine. So often we feminists are equated with power in masculine form, but just one of those miraculous moments of sisterhood is enough to recognize that our power comes from our passion, intuition, and connection.

Soulsister. I adore you more than you know which is why this is out right now. Share this with a soulsister of your own; let her know how much you adore her. Maybe a woman who owns responsibility of womanhood with lightness or a girlfriend who’s continuously evolving? Maybe a beauty who lives in abundance or sister who embodies that divine feminine? Girls, you are my tribe. So much love.

So much MAD love,

J

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#REALTALK

I’m a hot fucking mess right now. I’m going to do that annoying “vaguebook” thing where I don’t give you specific whos and whats. As an apology, please accept this visual. I’m sitting on my big white Instagram-worthy bed surrounded by empty popcorn bags, uti-induced cranberry pills, toilet paper equally covered in tears and snot, pages on pages of purple-ink, and a calendar full of missed appointments and broken promises. I’m sitting on my big while Instagram-worthy bed thinking through this post with my very own sugar-induced headache. I’m sitting on my big white Instagram-worthy speaking the words of my heart, which feels like a broken love explosion.

I’ve been everywhere in the last month, and therefore, I’m getting nowhere.

My personal life went everywhere. And so much of my business feels personal; it’s easy to let those gray boundaries fade into nothingness. You KNOW me. I’m the self-proclaimed “gal who loves growth.” I may have been growing in my personal relationships. (Conflict will do that.) But I have not been growing anywhere else. I find myself sitting in the shower (again) for what feels like an eternity and blinking at the water raining down. I realize just like that – in a blink – that I’ve been doing the thing we all do. I stopped putting myself first. I stopped filling my own cup first. I stopped building the life of my dreams.

I’ll do anything for an “Attagirl!”

Someone said this to me a few months ago : Attagirl. As in, “That’s my girl,” but like WAY cuter. It felt so good. I know I’m not alone here? When someone you really love tells you that they’re proud of you in any kind of way — big or small.  I’ve somehow forgotten that the most “Attagirls” of my life are going to come from me, as they should. I’ve somehow forgotten that in order to be proud of myself, I first have to make small choices that I’m proud of. I’ve somehow forgotten that it starts with workouts, nutrition, drinking the damn delicious shake, and reading every damn day. I’ve somehow forgotten that it happens when I give to others by going ALL IN on myself.

In other words, It’s time for a fucking comeback.

I’m committing right here, right now, to you my lovelies and to my challengers. On Monday, June 12, we start a new challenge group. It’s time for this bitch to get back to basics. It’s time for me to show up, to check in, to get real.

If you’re ready for a comeback too, you know what to do.

Mad love,

J

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A letter to my lovelies living in the UK

I’m bursting at the seams to share that our company is launching in the UK. Why am I jittery with that excitement||gratitude combination? I was born in Homerton Hospital. I grew up in Hackney. My Nan lives in Irby, Merseyside (outside Liverpool). So much of my life is caught between the two places – USA || UK. I love both of my countries, and I wish I could share all of myself in both places. Now, I get to.

  • So many times I’ve met someone in Holland & Barrett, and warned them away from skinny teas.
  • So many times I’ve met someone in the Hive on Vyner Street or Rawligion, and wished I could share this coaching opportunity. Maybe that lovely out from behind the register and into their SHEO panties?
  • So many times I’ve met my family in ill heath, and wished I could send them our of-the-earth superfoods shake to bring their bods into balance.

In truth, every other coach currently in the USA + Canada right now is also excited to share this with you. Your Instagram is probably full with American coaches reaching out. So, a massive thank you for checking out THIS post, which is sure to be one of the thousands. But, if it isn’t clear already, this launch is personal to me.

I’m not here to “GET YOU” to join MY TEAM. (Don’t get me wrong, that’s abso-fucking-lutely an option and I would deffo love it.) But my intention here is to give you the ins and outs, the truth, because you’re my people.

What does this launch mean? o p p o r t u n i t y This means that you have the chance to join our virtual health + fitness community. This means that you have the chance to build your own at-home business helping other women get started on their wellness journeys as a FOUNDING COACH.

tips for finding YOUR coach

1 You need someone who gets you.

You need a coach and mentor who has your back. You need someone who gets you. Right now there are American and Canadian coaches. So I recommend you do a little search around for someone who you begin to know, like, and trust through their social media presence. You’ll see that our branding is completely related to who we are. Some coaches identify most with extreme fitness. Some coaches identify with nutrition. Some coaches use their family as their brand; they’re mamas.

I personally am in the mindset // inspiration meets wanderlust category.

So, go do some digging. I’m not deluded to think that I’m the right coach for everyone, and I believe wholeheartedly in my UK soon-to-be girlbosses. My recommendation, if you’ll have it, is choosing a coach with some experience mentoring others to success, which usually takes at least a year of experience. I’ve been coaching for about 2 and a half years, so I’m in a good middle place of having a rocking team culture, but not so big that I won’t be able to give you a lot of one-on-one time. There are big teams, small teams, and everything in between. Just find someone who gets you, someone who inspires you, someone you want to learn from.

 

2 Look for someone with a strong team culture.

Everything that we do is all about teamwork. Like I mentioned, our “job” is in two parts. We help people begin or uplevel their health + fitness journey with a fitness program, nutrition guide, and superfoods shake. The team here is the fitness community. For example, I have two online communities : the FitFam for women and men who want to jump in and out of 30-day groups and a more selective Wellness Warrior Studio for super committed women looking to shape their mind and body for all of 2017. We host them in a separate app from social media where I, as the coach, share a information and inspiration daily. Each challenger shares his or her daily accountability related to his or her goals.

We also help people do what we do; we mentor others to build a successful coaching business. The beauty of this business is that YOU are the She-EO. You are the boss. You choose how, how much, how little, when, and where. You OWN it. But you have mentors like me to guide you along the way. Our team, Team Bold + Brave, works very closely. I do one-on-one calls very often. We have a weekly team call for training and collaboration. We very intentionally share the workload. We help you become the leader of the business and team you want to be.

So think of the girl of your dreams. We help you become her. 

Choose a coach who HAS a team culture. Someone who is going to support you in creating your own. Some coaches are more hands on. Some are more hands off. I float right in the middle. I meet you where you’re at with what you need. [It’s the former teacher in me. Yep. I taught primary school for 4 years before I retired to do this. Differentiation is in my makeup.]

3 Work with someone who is willing to invest in YOU… NOW.

I am SO fucking pumped to be able to work with you all BEFORE the launch even happens! If you find a coach who isn’t ready to rock right the eff now… Pass. The opportunity to be a founding coach is incredible, so find someone who is ready to help you get started with clean eating groups, challenge groups, and coach training. Can you imagine how you’re going to skyrocket when you know all about coaching on Day One?

I have about a gazillion ideas, but I don’t want to overwhelm you right now. Go here to connect with me. I’ll reach out and we can connect one-on-one. I’ll get you plugged into our UK Facebook group with my larger team, UK-only Clean Eating Groups, and even full-blown challenge groups. I got you boo.

4 Are they visiting the UK?

We’re having a big launch in October. The date and location are tbd, but I’m guessing London. I’ll be in Manchester the first two weeks of September. I’ll be in London from mid-September to mid-October.  I’ll be at the launch. I’ll be taking photos with our team at the launch. I’ll be back in the UK every 6 months or so. This may or may not be important to you. Bottom line. If it IS important to you — that you see, hear, and hug your coach — then you need to find a coach who is not only willing but fucking PUMPED to be back often.

4  Find a running buddy.

The most successful challengers and coaches have a partner in crime, a soulsister, a running buddy. Find someone in your life – past or present – who you have that soul connection with. Ask them to do this thing WITH you. My business partner is my best friend from grade school. Though we didn’t stay connected through university, we both found each other at the start of our coaching journeys. I can’t even tell you how much I would not still be here if I didn’t have her with me. Get out a list rtfn and write down the names of 10 women from your life who you’d ADORE to work with every day. Women who you know, love, and trust. Talk to them. Share this post with them. Share these groups with them. Many will say no (at least not right now). Keep going until you find your person. She’s out there.

 

The long and short of it.

This has the ability to change anything and everything in your life. Why NOT figure out what it’s actually about?

Maybe I’m your girl? Maybe you’re my girl? Let’s figure it out, boo. Ask anyone. I’m never ever ever going to give up on you. I’m never ever ever going to stop believing in your greatness.

Mad love,

Jasmine

Founder, Team Bold and Brave

“The lightworkers. The adventure seekers. The go givers. The difference makers. The happy tribe.”

 

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We all have triggers, right? You know, those life-altering experiences that leave us wide-eyed with disbelief and fear. They send shockwaves to our unconscious mind, jolting it into our memory like a lightning bolt. That way, when a similar situation surfaces, we get to freak the fuck out. Our brain is like, “OMFG. No. Not again. We’ve been here before and we don’t like it.” One of my known triggers that has surfaced three times in this year alone.

what does it mean to be ghosted?

Ghosting (n.) the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone

Maybe you’ve been ghosted before?  But what I find harder than the actual act of being ghosted is being haunted. Once I’ve been ghosted, I seem to be followed everywhere by the thought of the ghost. This post, simply put, is me working through my shit so that I can free myself from the haunting. It’s me connecting with you as a way back to truth and light.

the backstory

I work online. (Clearly.) If I had to put a number on it, I’d say that I share about 90% of my life. You’ll find pieces of my heart scattered across the digital world. Anyone can know my soul rather quickly with this blog and social media. But what about that other 10%? Well, it’s reserved for my inner circle. I don’t say that to necessarily exclude anyone, but it’s what happens naturally. Don’t you have people that you talk to daily? Or the people that you see in person — that feels different, right? Or maybe even those you FaceTime once a week, but the connection is hella deep? So, despite the fact that I love a lot of people wholeheartedly (namely : you), there’s only so many people that know that 10%.

When one of the 10% goes rogue, I kind of freak out.

the tipping point of the trigger

January 2016. Things were not going well with my boyfriend at the time. If I’m super truthful they hadn’t been going well for about a year. If I had listened to my intuition, they hadn’t been going well for about two. I know, how selfish. Regardless, we lived together. We shared a bed. We shared a dog. We shared a life. In so many ways he WAS the inner circle. I had Ellen, my best friend, and him. He was half of the inner circle.

After an argument about who knows what, he ghosted me. He didn’t talk to me, look at me, respond to my questions, or acknowledge my presence for 3 days. I went ALL kinds of masculine energy : OMG. let me fix this problem right now. I was shut out over and over again in my own home. I kept asking the question… why? He was probably hurt and frustrated. He probably didn’t know how to handle whatever was going on in his heart and his head. He probably wanted me to feel the same feelings. He probably was establishing control over the situation in whatever way he could.

Does that mean it was ok? No.

Note :: Those are all of my guesses and projections. This blog is my POV, but I don’t want you settle into believing that was his truth. I don’t know if it was.

repercussions

Eventually we talked. A month later I broke up with him. That experience pushed me over the edge to actually doing the hard thing of breaking his heart and my own in order to free ourselves in the process.

Since then I’ve had three similar experiences of people in my inner circle shutting me out. They’ve been similar. I’ve always been left feeling the same way : confused, frustrated, worried, pissed, out of control, and downright disrespected. Oh, and usually I’m feeling all of these feelings all at the same time. I know, right? So many feels! How do I even keep up with myself?! 😉

what i’ve learned

It’s harder with more-than-friends.

I’ve been ghosted by two friends. I’ve been ghosted by two more-than-friends. The difference is that with my girlfriends there was more trust and less pressure. When you make a commitment to being girlfriends, you have each other’s back. You speak a common lady language. You know each other through-and-through without the pretending and expectation that comes from being a boy’s girlfriend. You could say that with the girlfriends I had more faith. But with men… breakups happen.

It’s easier with physical distance

It’s easier to make excuses and move on when the ghost lives far away. They’re not responding to texts/calls? Maybe they’re busy. The energy isn’t so in-your-face. Of course there’s a point where it gets weird, like when you haven’t heard back in a week or two. At the same time the question, “Well what can I do?” is freeing. It’s not like you can go knock on their door.

It’s not always about me.

When resolution finally occurs, sometimes I find out that it literally WASN’T about me. The inner circle was literally just busy // preoccupied // whatever. I get that too. They knew I wasn’t going anywhere, so responding wasn’t a priority. Is that ok? No. Is it easily forgiven and forgotten? Yes.

how i deal || choose an alternate ending

Surrender. So much about loving people (even when they’re being assholes) is not choosing to love them, but surrendering to love. Surrendering to the your true heart : this hurts a whole, whole lot beause you love them a whole, whole lot. So, sweet cakes, show them your true colors, and give them what they need. If they think they need space, then give it to them without expectation of any return.

This is really fucking difficult for me. I don’t like it when someone is upset in general; let alone upset with me. These experiences are surrendering to love in a way that necessitates letting go of control. I means letting go of control in the actual situation, knowing that it might never be resolved. It generally sounds something like this… Hey. I’m not sure what’s happening here, so I’m just going to give you space. You know where to find me if and when you’re ever ready… 

I also means letting go of the haunting too. They may never be ready. We can’t just sit around waiting for a cute little gift box of resolution to come into our lap.

Choose what you believe. There are a lot of empowering beliefs to recite as your mantra when moving through this. There are a lot of disempowering ones too. And you can only tread water by numbing out for so long. (Trust me on that one.) Here’s what I chose to believe in every situation.

  • With my ex :: This will bring us progress in one way or another. Progress is happiness.
  • With my bff :: This will strengthen the faith I have that we are forever. It will bring us closer in the end.
  • With a gf :: This isn’t about me. I’ll be here for her when she’s ready.
  • With the most current :: Well this is interesting. How curious. I choose gratitude.

My mantra. Always.

If I’m being honest, I’m still a little bit torn up about this last one. I care about people a whole, whole lot. I think part of what got me into this last situation IS that value :: that I care about people a whole, whole lot. (Sorry. Gotta leave it a little bit cryptic.) No matter what, when I’m feeling torn up, I return to this belief.

I can use this struggle to find strength. I can use this to connect with others.
I will turn this mess into a message.
I trust that life happens for me, not to me. There is a reason for this.

That belief is how I find resolution within myself. Always.

Mad love,

J

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