Masculine + Feminine // Part I

Have you ever felt an undeniable chemistry that quickly becomes an addiction? Have you felt the polarities too? It’s pure light inside sultry darkness. It’s inexhaustible exhaustion. It’s a kind of breath-quickening breathlessness. Some might call this passion, but that kind of electricity… it almost feels like danger. It’s the kind of high vibration that makes your body shake. This chemistry, this connection, comes from polarity, from opposition. The forces at work here are the masculine and the feminine.

masculine and feminine energy

Every person is, at their core, either predominantly masculine or feminine. Both energies live within us on a sliding scale and we tap into them for different purposes. However, at our core, we have one that is dominant in our natural state. The mindfuck? We might not be operating from the energy that is at our core. I have a lot of feminine energy, but I used to function with predominantly masculine energy. I can tell you from experience, it’s completely draining.

masculine energy

Masculine energy is about focus and direction; it’s on a mission. It wants to meet an outcome and break free into ecstasy. It desires a challenge: to fix things, test itself, break barriers. Then, it wants to be appreciated.

Is someone coming to mind? Think of someone with a powerful centered presence. Think of someone who craves rising up to a challenge. Think of someone who is hyper focused on the outcome. Think of someone who can compartmentalize very easily. A person with a masculine core is an initiator, assertive-type with an intense desire to be respected. Basically, think about Charlie Hunnam or Gwen Stefani circa 2005.

So, what’s the drawback to this focus? Masculine energy is quick to leave and let go. It’s quick to brush aside feels and speak within words. Masculine energy is quick to ghost, because it can compartmentalize.

feminine energy

Feminine energy is about emotion and connection; it’s driven by heart. It wants to engage with others through vulnerability. I desires sensation: to be wanted, to be heard, to be grounded in nature.

Is someone coming to mind? Think of someone who could chat for hours. Think of someone who wears their heart on their sleeve. Think of someone who integrates everything : their life is seen as an alchemy that flows together. A person with a feminine core needs emotions to be tended to, and allows the masculine energy to initiate. Basically, think about Ed Sheeran or Kate Winslet.

So, what’s the drawback to this heart? Feminine energy will hang on for ages. It will stay far too long. It’s eager to hear tone and emotion rather than simply hear words for what they are. Feminine energy will allow a ghost to wreck their week, because it can’t compartmentalize.

Let’s get sexy for a moment.

Think about the actual act of (good+healthy) sex. The man is on a mission. The woman is open to receive.

To sum it up… Beyonce is feminine and Sasha Fierce is masculine.

energy within myself

old fear-based belief

I used to operate from masculine energy based on this belief : “I’m an insensitive achiever living in a man’s world.”

I was conditioned by family and friends to believe I had that insensitive quality. I was conditioned by the Western World to favor using masculine energy. I don’t know which came first, but I have always been a leader, and leadership looks a certain way, right? This is a male-dominated society, and we want to break the glass ceiling. Therefore, we have to do masculinity better than men. (Smh.)

Functioning from masculinity was the path to success. I led my life, my tribe, my relationships with fierce direction (and insanely, extensive color-coded spreadsheets). I cared less for the moments of connection, and more for tangible results. People came to me with problems, and I fixed them pragmatically with words and action steps. I was the go-getter who would solve problems; I thought this was how you showed up for people. I was a task master; I could out-plan and out-work anything at the speed of a bullet.

sensitivity felt weak

When emotional things happened, I would clam up. Being sensitive felt weak. It felt uncomfortable. I remember countless disputes and circumstances involving strong emotions. Rather than call on my feminine power and hear them… I would get super assertive, getting my point across first. This is what happens when we feel stress, we take on the mask of the opposite energy. Arguments are stressful, so I went super masculine energy past my day-to-day mask of masculinity. If you find yourself getting super emotional in the face of stress, you might have a masculine core.

the truth

I am so effing feminine. I mean, you’re here, reading my blog. You probably could have guessed it. I know I said the core energy is on a sliding scale, but I am pretty far on the femme side. Last year I freed myself from my mask of masculinity during admission of my true core on a California souladventure. I continue to peel back the layers of that mask as I practice operating either naturally from feminine energy or intentionally from masculine energy.

I’m allowing myself to be the feminine goddess that I am; this does not mean I’m not a feminist. Feminine energy is about being open, receiving graciously, and getting vulnerable. Feminism is always fierce, which I take to mean intense; however, it can be fiercely vulnerable just as easily as it can be fiercely assertive. I feel like myself when I operate from the feminine kind of ferocity that means deep love, intense connection, and pure freedom.

So much about me changed on that trip to California and when I returned home (more on that in Part II), but in a phrase… I let go. I let go of the mask and gave into my true femininity. I’ll always have gratitude for those years of operating out of my masculine, because it’s amazing to understand that power and tap in anytime I need it. I use it mainly in business and within large-group leadership roles. It also gives me the chance to really become self-aware on another level. I recognize now that when I go all masculine energy, it’s often because of stress.

Maybe you can recognize when you have this kind of energy shift too? Secret : if you’re like me, then you’ll notice it most when it comes to romantic relationships. Stop back for Part II. I’ll share what this looks like in relationships, and how we can meet the needs of our partner. (And, therefore, why I’m crumble at the knees for a masculine man.)

Mad love (and love and love and love and love),



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